Stiff

Last week I tweaked my neck during a mild stretch after a mid morning data entry slog and I’ve been stuck using gliding motions ever since, rotating from a squeezed core and maintaining set elbow angles as to not aggravate the muscles any further. Chin up and out, chest high and spine straight, straightening out the tell tale hump of an Avid Reader. In an attempt to stay cheerful I am imagining that I am Klaus Nomi in a latex triangle tuxedo, slowly gesturing to punctuate floating arias.

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Klaus Nomi with another Art World Dah-ling, the fantastic Cookie Mueller

Each night I’ve been slathering on a sticky layer of Tiger Balm and in the morning after pep talking the creeping knots in my shoulder, I’ve been slugging down mugs of iced yerba mate to convince my body to move. Yeah, yeah, cold press coffee is street legal jet fuel and can spring anyone out of bed and into the streets in three sips, but iced yerba mate tastes like a refreshing herbal tonic, which partners well with the residual menthol scent from the Tiger Balm, and provides a clear mental clarity and buzz which is the opposite of coffee’s tendency to produce swirling pits of anxiety and jaw clenching headaches.

Recipe as follows: toss 1/4 cup of loose yerba mate leaves into a clean quart mason jar. Add a thumb sized chunk of fresh ginger, roughly chopped (no need to peel really) and one kaffir lime leaf torn in half. The kaffir lime leaves can be bought from Asian grocery stores for about $1.50 for a bag of 20-30 and they add a nice citrus flavor. I used them because they store nice in the freezer. You can substitute actual lime/lemon/grapefruit/orange peels if you have some. If you like the tart flavor of kombucha, you can add a bit of citrus juice or a capfull of apple cider vinegar in to the mix as well. Add a bit of sweetener, like agave syrup or maple sugar or just fucking sugar. Same difference. Add water til the jar is full and pop on the lid and give it a few shakes so everything gets mixed. Place in the fridge overnight and strain the next morning in a fine mesh sieve. A coffee filter is a bit overkill and takes forever. Keeps in the fridge three days before the flavor gets strange.

Start by sipping only a mug at a time. The buzz is subtle but powerful. Imagine you are Klaus, wide eyed and peculiar. Move slowly.

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NOW GET TO WORK YA BUM!